Disclaimer: I do not own Love Hina, nor any of it's characters, but I do own Cris Leary, Matt and Ellen, I hope that Ken doesn't sue my ass because I am poor as hell right now
<> = Japanease
“ ” = English
“Thoughts” = Thoughts
Notes & Writing=Notes and Writing
( )= A.N.
Episode #1: Enter Meat Head
“Argh, who would have thought bleaching a house would take so much out of a guy-” the man fell on the sofa. “-and that weird old lady, thinking I am some Kei.....nero something, I wounder if this guy and I do look alike, well except that I am not Japanease, though it would be cool. That lady was nice enough to offer me a job, but what do I know about managing a dorm........ and I'd have to move to Japan..... I'll have to ask Matt to borrow the money. Well I can't turn down the offer now.”
The boy sweat dropped. He said yes to the job the moment she offered it to him. He always wanted to live in Japan and now his mother living in Japan would pay off. The boy looked like Keitaro only with out the glasses and a little longer and darker hair and green eyes.
“I guess I should pack some stuff then give Ol' Matt a call.”
The man got from his sofa and went into his bedroom, it was tidy with posters of dragons and some Anime. He searched in his dresser for the clothes he wore most and stuffed them into one backpack.
“I thought there would be more.” He shrugged it off and picked up the phone that was beside his bed.
“Hey Matt it's me Cris.”
“What are you talking about?”
“How much money do you need and what is it for?”
“Well the good news is I got a job... but it's in Japan.”
“No, I do not have the money to send your ass to Japan, and what about your job with Section 6?”
“You owe me and I'll pay you back, pulse I'll still be working for them only I will be closer to the head office.”
“Well seeing as you'll never stop hounding me until I give you the money, ya.... ok, but look when you get fired and have to come home don't ask me to pay, I'll book your flight in the morning and one more thing don't ever call me this late again, it's 3 BLOODY AM!!!”
With that Matt hung up the phone and the man we now know as Cris, jumped for joy smashing into a shelve above him and knocking his sorry ass out.
The next morning or should I say a few hours later, Cris woke up.
“Fuck that hurt.”
He then proceeded to mutter profanities. He got something to eat and started to pack the rest of his things. I.E: anything he could grab that wasn't bolted down.
“Ok, I think I got everything.” The phone rang, Cris answered.
“We don't want none?”
“No Cris you idiot it's me Matt, you flight is booked, you leave tonight at 8. Come for dinner with me and Ell.”
“Ok I'll be there, but don't try to set me up with anybody.”
Cris was 19 he lived on his own since Matt got marred to Ellen that was a year ago. Matt and Ellen where 21 and 20, they where young and in love. Cris just laughed at the fact that childhood friends finally got marred. Matt, Ellen and Cris used to be called the three Musketeers. But that was behind them now.
“Hey Cris you still there?”
“Ya sorry remanissing about old times, Icer.”
“Hey don't call me that anymore, it's been to long and I like Hunky-Bunnie.”
“Ha HA, man you still haven't changed. Anyways say hi to Ell for me and I'll see you at....6, shall we say?”
“Ya six is fine, and I'll tell her, but you gotta tell your family.”
“The only family I got bought me the ticket to go so they all know I am going.”
“Your still holding a grudge on them them.”
“Yep, and I don't plan to stop, see you at six man.”
Cris hung up the phone before Matt could respond. He smiled to himself and had a shower and changed into his favorite pare of clothes blue kakies with a black t-shirt with a roots symbol abroad across his chest. He then finished packing up his stuff and smiled again, he was finally getting out of here after 19 long years of trying. He started doing about nothing and waiting till six, the time being 8 am didn't give him much to do, so he did some thing constructive wile he waited, he turned on his laptop and started to do some work on it.
When five thirty came around Cris stood stretched and grabbed his forest Green Camo Army jacket and went out the door. He arrived at Matt's suburban home around 6:15.
“Sorry I am late, car troubles.”
“I don't think you would call her that, and I didn't think anything would be wrong with your GTO, ever.” Matt responded letting Cris into his home.
“NEON!” Ellen jumped from around the corner and scared the shit out of Cris sending him barreling into the door head first.
“Fuck, hey Miss Priss, how are you doing?”
“Saddened that you are leaving, but happy for you, anyways I made your favorite, Chicken A La King and I got you this.” she held out a diary. “It's to keep your thoughts and so you can tell your nefue about your time in Japan.”
“Nefue?” Matt stepped in quickly
“Um... ya sorry for not telling you but Ellen is pregnant.”
“You devil you.” Cris jumped his long time friend and gave him a noogie.
“Ok, ok settle down you youngin'.” Ell chirped trying to stop the horse play. The “men” stopped with huge grins and replied together “Yes mother.” she hit them playfully and went back into the kitchen to finish dinner.
“So man, tell me about this job.”
“Well, I'll be managing a dorm in a place called Hinata. Sufficed to say the dorm's called the Hinata Apartments. This old Japanease lady that called herself Granny Hina offered me the job so I took it.”
“Dinner you guys, and Cris, get your muddy shoes off my clean floor!” Cris jumped again and took of his shoes.
“Let's go eat, Dad... ha” Cris said with humor in his pleasant voice with a flash of his everything-will-be-ok-smile.
“Ya, ya punk.” they went to dinner and ate happily. Ell's cooking was the best, far better then anything Cris had ever eaten (except when he ate her cooking). After dinner Cris offered to do the dishes but Ell said no he'd miss his flight so Cris left and Jumped into his restored GTO. “Ok girl, lets burn it!” He took off down the drive way speeding, like normal. Cris had made arrangements for the car to be flown over but it would have to stay in a garage for a few weeks, that was no problem for Cris only if it got damaged would he have one. He made it to the airport with ten minits to spare so he unloaded his luggage and went to board his plain. The plain was pretty much empty a building fat man here a young mother there. Cris paid them no heed and set up his lap top hopping to get some more work done. His deadline for Section 6 was coming up and he still needed some time to work.
“Mister, could you please turn that off until after take off?” a young stuerdest asked him. She was quite pretty and her name tag read Ann but again Cris paid her no heed and turned off his Computer.
“Thank you, is there anything I could get you?” Cris didn't pick up on the fact that she was flirting with him. He was just to oblivious to it.
“No thank you I am fine.”
She turned defeated and walked away the clueless man put on head phones and tried to listen to some music, and again the stuerdest came up to him and asked him to turn it off. Flabbergasted Cris tried to sleep, and again the stuerdest was there.
“What can I help you with this time?” he said with little anger in his voice.
“Well I was wondering if something....” Cris cut her off.
“What does it take to get some peace and quite. I was nice but could you leave me alone, the plane takes off in one moment and your starting to piss me off, I am sorry for being rude-” Cris shook his head.
“-I shouldn't have blown up at you like that, I am sorry would you accept my apoloages?”
The girl was baffled.
“Y... yes, of 'corse, I take a lot more verbal abuse that that on a day to day basses.”
“Well that is no way to treat a lady, I am sorry for them ass holes as well.”
The girl was even more baffled, she liked him because of his looks a second ago now she liked the whole of him, what a great personality.
“You don't have to do that, but thank you.” She blushed and walked away the seatbelt sign flashed on noting the plane was ready to take off.
“What a nice girl, I hope her boyfriend is treating her alright.” still completely oblivious to the flirting.
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“Oh my god Susan, he is such a nice guy. He yelled at me for bugging him then apologised!”
“Then go get him Ann, he looks single and he must have money he is flying to japan, and I saw him pull up in a GTO!!”
The girls giggled and jumped around. Not knowing his age, thinking he was 25, but boy are they mistaken.
The plane took off and Cris looked around then pulled out his laptop again, intending to do work, and that is when Ann came back.
“Excuse me, would you like....” Cris cut her off again.
“Um.... ya sure, could I get some sake?”
“Yes you can, but that is not what I was going to ask.”
“And what would you like to ask?”
“If when you get back from Japan if you would like to go out with me sometime?”
“I am not coming back from japan, and I'm only 19, miss.”
The girl looked completely shocked.
“OH...MY ....GOD, I am so sorry!!!”
“Think nothing of it, now about that Sake?”
“Oh yes, sorry.” she left him in quite a hurry and came back with his sake even faster, then was gone again.
“What a weird lady” Cris turned back to his working annoyed at all the distractions.
He clicked away at the keyboard late into the night with out incident until the sake caught up to him and he need to go to the washroom. After he releaved him self he stepped out of the washroom and a bit of turbulence tripped him into something soft. He opened his eyes only to see a pair of breasts in his face.
“Muth mith??” (what's this?)
“AH you perv!” Ann pulled him by the hair to get him off of her then she punched him back into the door the back of his head leaving a imprint.
“I hope you rot in hell you bastard!”
“I am sorry, I didn't mean......” she walked off before he could finish. Cris sadly returned to his seat and tried to work again.
Cris stepped off the plane stopped and looked up at the sky, he was pushed down the stairs by an asshole behind him.
“Keep moving jerk!” Cris being Canadian smiled at the bastard and flipped him off.
“Fuck you asshole.”
Cris picked himself up and left the airport, he got his luggage with minor difficulties, and bad English speaking Japanease people, trying to talk to him in English because of the Canadian flag on his backpack and jacket.
<No I can speak Japanease, you don't have to speak English.>
<Thank you, it has been along time since I could talk to a Canadian in Japanease.>
He got himself a cab and put his luggage in the back.
<Um... the Hinata Apartments.>
<Why do you want to go there, are you some kind of perv?> Cris checked they guy's name tag Hinati it read.
<Look Hinati, what I am going there for is my business, not yours, just drive, and I'll pay you.>
Cris noted the man trying carefully not to show what he was doing to Cris, witch was he pushed a button and the amount for the fair when up by a couple hundred Yen.
<You do know I am not paying for that, right?>
<That extra money you put on the machine.>
<Fine.> They when the rest of the way in quiet, Cris got out and payed the man in full, not really caring. He looked in aw at the huge amount of stairs he would have to climb. “Who ever made this place deserves to be shot.” He said aloud, knowing no one would understand good Ol'English. He smiled and started his climb and with all his luggage, it was harder then he hoped, he finally reached the to and fell over. “I think....... I'm .......just....... going..... to.. lay.. here..... for..... awhile.” And that he did. He watched the morning sky. It was around 11:14 when he got up. He knocked on the glass door but there was no answer so he ventured inside. He walked around a bit before seeing a hot springs.
“That would be nice, right about now, hopefully get rid of the jet lag.”
He placed his stuff outside the hot springs in the changing room and de-clothed, then clad only in a towel he gently entered the springs trying not to make sound and scare the animals. He settled down and heard a voice coming from the entrance, it was a girl's voice so Cris bolted up right and stayed still, he heard her enter that water.
<Who is in here, I can hear you.>
Cris made no sound as the Girl got closer he could see her now, she was only in a towel and she had long brown hair, Cris thought of her hair as weird because it had two little “puffs” of it sticking up like antenna. The girl sat down beside him.
<Hey you don't have to sit all by your self, can you help me wash my back?> She reached down and grabbed his 'swollen member'
<What's this?> Cris' eyes opened fully and his face was plastered red with embarrassment. The girl moved in for a closer look at her 'friend'.
<You.... your not a GIRL!!> Cris jumped up and ran for it in only a towel. The Girl started calling out perv and chasing him, some how she had gotten dressed and was still hot on his tail he ran passed a hot girl in red skimpy dress and down some stairs only to be met with a company of working model tanks.
“What the?” There was a girl with dark skin and in a school girl's outfit at the controls. The first tank fired at him, hitting him where it counts. He stumbled then ran out the door, the girl with the long weird brown hair was waiting for him.
“Oh fuck” The brewnett reared back her fist and smashed it into Cris' face he flew back into the wall, and was embedded there in a crucified position, still in nothing more then a towel.
<What are you going to do to me?> Cris muttered as the three girls closed in on him.
<What are you doing in this all girls dorm?> The brewnett asked.
<A.... all girls dorm?> The words hit him like a sac of bricks. “What in the world is going on here?” he thought.
<Yes, and who are you anyways, all your stuff has the Canadian flag on it.> Again the brewnett drilled questions into him.
<I was offered a job at the Hinata apartments, and I thought this was the place, I am sorry, my name is Cris Leary and I am from Canada, an old lady named Hina offered me the job.>
<This is the Hinata apartments, but why would Granny Hina, put a guy in charge?> The brewnett asked the other girls. The dark skinned one answered first, Cris didn't like her answer, it would lead to more pain, he figured.
<To play with me?> and older woman answered her question
<Because he looked up to the job> she turned to Cris
<And I see you've met Naru Narusagawa-> She gestured to the brewnett.
<-Kaolla Su-> Now to the dark skinned one.
<-And Mitsune “Kitsune” Kanno.> And then to the sexy one in the red dress with the gray hair.
<And I am Huruka Urashema, Granny Hina told me you where coming, but I didn't beleave her when she said you looked like Keitaro.>
<Um.... about this, I... um.... would like to get down now!>
<Huruka this MAN is going to be the manager, why can't you do it?> Naru asked still pissed off at the perv, wanting to punch his ass around some more.
<You know I can't do it because of the tea shop, and Cris here is more then qualified, you'll just have to set ground rules for him.>
<Motoko will not be to happy with this.> Naru put in trying to get some lost ground back.
<I'll talk to Motoko, and do not worry about him, Naru if you disapprove of him so much why don't you watch him like a hawk, to make sure he doesn't do anything perverted?> Huruka pulled Cris from the wall. “Remember Cris, Granny Left you in charge for a reason, don't let her down, because we can have Naru send you back to Canada.”
<What did she just say?> The one Cris now knows to be Kaolla Su asked.
<She was talking in English, what's something I didn't know she could do.> The sly fox Kitsune said with a devious look on her face.
<Kitsune what ever your planing forget it, this perv is not here for your games.> Naru warned shaking a finger at her best friend.
“Thank you Miss Urashema.” Cris said to his rescuer, and she smashed him on the top of his head with her legendary fan.
“Just Huruka” she said, Cris blinked noticing he was only in a towel.
<Um.... if you don't mind could I get dressed?> Cris was having a hard time to cover his body up, all the girls and Huruka noticed him for the first time as well, Naru blushed and got mad, Kaolla pulled on the towel, Kitsune got that look on her face of forbidding thoughts and Huruka just rolled her eyes. Cris was a deep shade of crimson by this time and Naru pushed him into the Hinata back to the change room so he could get dressed. Cris dressed as fast as he could in to Black kackie shorts and a black “Outlaw” t-shirt, when he stepped out of the change room Naru was there waiting for him.
<Oh hello, what can I help you with Narusagawa?> she seemed pissed at him again.
<Nothing I'll take you to your room now, dinner is in twenty minits, so be quick about settling in, and don't let me catch you doing anything perverted!> with that she took off with Cris hot on her heels, trying to keep up with the flustered vixen. They got to his room and Naru opened the door stepped in, waited for him to do so then left with out another word.
“What a bitch” Cris said to himself as he shut the door. He smiled knowing that his life is going to be total hell, just like before, he unpacked somethings then a knock came upon his door.
<Who is there?>
<It is me Mitsune, may I come in?>
<Um.... ya sure, don't mind the mess, I gust got here>
<Oh I don't mind sugar.> she calmly said as she entered the room.
<What can I do you for miss Kanno?>
<Kitsune is fine, sugar-> she sat down beside him. She continued <-but the thing is your vary good looking-> she put her hand on his and Cris' face was beet red, her hand moved his to her full breast and gently made his hand squeeze.
<-That should be worth one months rent, right?>
<What no not at all, that was an unfair trick.> Mitsune screamed and Naru and Kaolla were at the door faster then lightning.
<What the hell are you doing to my FRIEND?!> Naru screamed, but by the time Cris heard it he was met face to fist with one of Naru's punches and sent into orbit yelling “I'm sorry” in English.
<Are you ok Mitsune?> Mitsune had the fake waterworks going on sobbing out her 'truth' about what happened.
Cris returned 'home' later that evening, a cup of noodles sat on the counter with a note from Naru on it, the note read eat perv and then get to bed, you have a lot, a LOT of work to do tomorrow.
“Well she is nice...... fuckin' bitch.” He heated up the noodles and ate in peace up on the balcony, he liked it up there nice peaceful, and no one to bug his ass, mostly he went up there to avoid the angry vixen named Naru. He would also talk as much English around her just to piss her off
“I deffently need to see how far I can go, but judging by what happened tonight not far at all.”
His peacefulness was broken by the sound of footfalls coming up the stairs to the balcony. He stopped moving trying to tell who it was, Kaolla's foot falls where loud and fast, Mitsune's where staggering and Naru's where fast paced and direct, the same a the foot falls coming up the stairs.
“Fuck” Cris muttered to himself, he knew this would lead into more pain.
<Cris are you up here? I want to talk to you.>
<Ya I am here, but what could I help you with, Narusagawa?> she rounded the corner and came into view, she asked to sit next to him and he said yes.
<I am sorry for earlier today.>
<Are you really? I am sure this is not the only reason your up here.>
<No it's not, I wanted to talk to you about your ambitions in this job, and why would you want to continue it?> she had concern in her voice that was unsettling to Cris, he only had known her for the better part of the day and she cared about him?
<Well I was given this job in hopes that I could turn it around and make it better for everyone who lives here. and if I fail then Huruka is to send me back to Canada and find someone else.> he ate more of his noodles trying to figure Naru out.
<Well that is something different, most guys would say to get down one of the girls paints.>
<I really do not care for that, thats not the type of person I am.> Cris got up slightly pissed, he took out the note Naru had left him and gave it to her.
<I best be getting to sleep, miss slave driver, good night.> he flashed her a smile and disappeared down the stairs, leaving Naru to her thoughts.